By Published On: July 4, 2022Categories: WeddingComments Off on Questions from Brides: What to Do When Wedding Guests Don’t RSVP?Tags: , , ,

When wedding guests don’t RSVP, it can be frustrating! You may be wondering how to best handle the situation. You’re not alone. I just received this message from a worried bride a couple of days ago:

“Hey Tonya – panicking a bit here! So, I sent out wedding invitations almost 3 weeks ago and I only received 4 responses. What’s the deal? Do people not do this anymore?!”

The conversation that followed inspired me to write this blog. As a busy wedding planner in 2022, yes, it is still commonplace to expect an RSVP from guests! A head count is super important when wedding planning because it can affect your budget. This isn’t a backyard barbecue – each new guest can cost you $100 or more! Sending a timely RSVP response (either yay or nay) just shows respect to you and your partner.

If a person doesn’t RSVP within your window of time, you have every right to cross them off the guest list. However, in my years of planning, I have heard of invitees not RSVP’ing and then showing up to the wedding. That’s a nightmare you want to avoid!

Here’s some steps to follow when a wedding guest doesn’t RSVP from a seasoned wedding planner.

1. Don’t Panic!

You may jump to the conclusion that a guest hasn’t responded because they don’t want to attend your wedding. However, that may not be the case at all! The guest may have misplaced the RSVP card or has a busy schedule and simply forgot. You may find that a nudge in the form of a call, text, or email will do the trick!

2. Reach Out

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Yes, this can be a bit time-consuming, but it may be your best bet. You do not want anything left to chance when the cost is so high. When it comes to close friends and family, a quick call may be all it takes. For guests you’re not as close with, a text is probably fine.

When you reach out, be brief, polite, and firm. Here’s a good way you can follow up with invitees:

“Hi Jean! I hope you’re doing well. We sent out wedding invitations four weeks ago and we still haven’t received a response from you. Since the deadline is approaching, can you let me know in the next couple days if you plan to attend our wedding? We would love to have you there!

By wording it this way, you’re giving them an opportunity to respond without putting them on the spot. Don’t forget to ask about entrée options or other needs while you have them on the phone!

3. Be Patient

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This may be the hardest rule to follow. After all, this is your big day and you want everything to be perfect! However, everyone has busy lives. It’s important to give guests some time to respond. Make sure you give a nice window of time – at least two weeks – for guests to RSVP.

4. Don’t Wait till Last Minute

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This goes hand-in-hand with being patient. When you’re sending out wedding invitations, make sure to give yourself enough time to follow up with guests who don’t RSVP. This way, you won’t be scrambling at the last minute!

It doesn’t hurt to set your deadline before a final headcount is due to your venue or caterer. This way, you have a buffer in case anyone falls through.

When the Deadline Passes

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If you’ve given a reasonable amount of time and still haven’t heard back, it’s probably safe to assume they’re not interested in attending. However, you can follow up with invitees with a quick text that says:

“Hello Jean! You didn’t respond within the RSVP window so we assume you’re not able to attend our wedding. That’s okay! We hope you’re doing well. Take care!”

By wording it this way, you’re being respectful and polite while also getting your point across.

It’s hard not to take it personally when someone doesn’t RSVP to your wedding. However, try not to let it get in the way of your big day! After all, this is one of the happiest days of your life!

Skip the RSVP Headache with Weddings of Pittsburgh

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If you’re looking for a wedding planner in Pittsburgh that can help you with your guest list, look no further than Weddings of Pittsburgh. Sometimes my brides call me the “bad cop” because I’m more than willing to do the hard work of reaching out to guests. I know that it can be a headache, and that’s what I’m here for!

In fact, there are many headaches with wedding planning that I can help you avoid. When it comes to vendor contracts, budgeting, venues, and more – I’ve got your back!

My planning services give you the peace of mind that an expert is handling everything. This allows you to focus on being in the moment with your spouse, family, and friends leading up to and during your big day.

If you’re interested in learning more about my services, please book a quick consultation or give me a call at 724-968-7135. I would be more than happy to chat with you!

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About the Author: Tonya